


call out to the hearts that bleed

by MissSugarPlum



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (with a tiny bit of angst thrown in for good measure), F/F, Misunderstandings, barry is a Good Friend okay, fluffy nonsense, new year's drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 21:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5600800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSugarPlum/pseuds/MissSugarPlum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Caitlin’s being completely honest, she’ll admit she’s not really sure what she’s doing here.</p><p>-x-</p><p>They get to <i>“Three!”</i> in the countdown before it occurs to Caitlin that maybe, this year should start with a leap of faith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	call out to the hearts that bleed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weekend_conspiracy_theorist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekend_conspiracy_theorist/gifts).



> Still in the mood for writing holiday nonsense, and this idea popped into my head on my way to work earlier and absolutely _refused_ to go away. (And it's only four minutes after midnight, here, so it totally still counts, shhhh)
> 
> (I wanted to write something other than coldflash, for a change, but they still managed to sneak their way in there, how even)
> 
> For one of my most darling darlings, who is probably asleep by now, but oh well. Ily, my dear! <3
> 
> (Also, I only read over this once before posting, and I'm tired, so let me know if you see any glaring mistakes!)
> 
> (Title from Vicci Martinez's Fire In Her Eyes)

If Caitlin’s being completely honest, she’ll admit she’s not really sure what she’s doing here.

 

 _Here_ is the spacious apartment Iris and Linda moved into three months ago, _here_ is the New Year’s Eve party she, for whatever reason, had agreed to come to, _here_ is in the presence of people she never thought she’d be even moderately comfortable sharing space with ever again.

 

Linda and Shawna Baez have been deep in conversation for the last half-hour about who-even-knows-what, Barry and Iris have been trading baking recipes and arguing about the socio-economic toll the prison system has had on the working-class caste in America with Leonard Snart, Cisco and Lisa Snart have been attached at the hip since Lisa and her brother had shown up with matching smirks and faux-aloof stances, and Caitlin herself had been sharing painful but healing stories about Ronnie with Hartley Rathaway until he went off to needle Cisco about something about five minutes ago.

 

She takes a sip of the fizzy champagne concoction Linda had crafted from her glass, slightly concerned about the buzzing in her brain but not enough to actually stop drinking. Midnight is a mere minute and a half away, according to the countdown in the bottom corner of the TV she’s pretty sure no one is actually watching, and she wonders idly to herself if she should ask Cisco to be her New Year’s kiss this year, just as she had last year.

 

(She ignores the whisper in the back of her head that says it’s not _Cisco_ she wants a kiss from, not this year, because she is not nearly drunk enough for that kind of thought.)

 

She’s content enough right now that she doesn’t mind being by herself for the first time all night, alone but marveling at the sight before her, all of these people who never should have had a reason to interact, all of these people who have come together to share this occasion with each other. She knows most of it is because of Barry, because of his fierce insistence of the _good_ in these people who perhaps never had anyone else see their merit, but she also knows how bullheaded everyone in this room is, herself included, knows that they wouldn’t all be here if they really didn’t _want_ to be, and that is staggering.

 

She checks back into the present just as Shawna shouts out _“Ten!”_ and the rest of them start to count down, laughing a bit at Hartley’s disgruntled little frown even as he joins in.

 

They get to _“Three!”_ before it occurs to Caitlin that maybe, this year should start with a leap of faith.

 

She turns her head and starts to move forward, searching for the lips she can admit, if only slightly drunkenly and to herself, to _really_ wanting to kiss, but stops short when she sees them already attached to another pair.

 

_“One!”_

 

“Happy New Year!” Iris blows enthusiastically into her noisemaker, and Linda cheers loudly, laughing. Shawna is catcalling at an extremely red-faced Barry and smug-looking Len, and Hartley has his hands thrown in the air dramatically, disgust twisting his lips but doing nothing to disguise the mirth in his eyes.

 

But that’s all background noise to Caitlin, who can only focus on the way Lisa’s lips are locked firmly onto Cisco’s.

 

The buzzing in her head grows in volume, and there’s a weird hollow feeling just behind her ribs, right where she had been _sure_ Ronnie had burned up the last of those kind of feelings. She staggers back unsteadily, mumbles something to no one about getting some air, and flees the apartment before anyone can stop her.

 

-x-

 

Barry finds her not even five minutes later, slumped against the wall with her head hanging between her knees just down the hallway, and though she desperately wants to be alone with her churning thoughts and burning heart, she doesn’t argue when he folds himself down next to her.

 

“You looked pretty busy in there,” her mouth says, quite without permission from her brain, and Barry laughs a little, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck bashfully.

 

“With Len? Yeah, that… that’s new,” he stutters out. His cheeks are still red but his eyes are sparkling, his mouth is twitching up into a fond grin, and a swell of affection floods through Caitlin.

 

“You look happy,” she observes, and Barry laughs again, shaking his head before sobering, eyes intent on Caitlin.

 

“You don’t,” he counters, and one of his hands rubs over Caitlin’s knee consolingly. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

Caitlin keeps her gaze trained on Barry’s hand, smoothing soothing patterns over the dark denim covering her knee, calming and comforting. “Not really.”

 

“Okay.”

 

She peeks up at Barry, trying to ignore the way her vision is giving her two of him. “Okay?”

 

“Sure,” Barry says simply. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, you don’t have to.”

 

“Okay.” Caitlin rests her head back on her knees, sighing heavily and closing her eyes again. Barry’s hand continues its reassuring track on Caitlin’s leg, and she finds she doesn’t mind the comfort as much as she thought she might.

 

It’s several more minutes before Barry breaks the easy silence between them. “Cait?”

 

Caitlin hums out a vague response.

 

“I love you, you know. You’re one of my best friends.”

 

Caitlin cracks an eye open at that, beyond incredibly touched, and the fiery tempest around her heart cools slightly. “I love you too, Barry. You know that.”

 

“Good.” Barry hesitates a little before determination settles over his features and he ploughs on. “Then know I’m doing this because I love you, and I just want to see you happy.”

 

Caitlin straightens up at that, shooting Barry an alarmed look. “Doing what—?”

 

Barry vanishes before she can even finish her thought process, lightning trailing in his wake, and Lisa Snart appears next to her in the next blink of her eyes, looking slightly ruffled at the speed but otherwise completely cool, collected.

 

Caitlin huffs, lets her head thud back against the wall behind her. “I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

 

“I know.” Lisa refrains from saying anything else, though her piercing eyes speak volumes.

 

“Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now?” Caitlin snaps, because there really aren’t words enough to express how much she does not want to be here, in this hallway with this woman, having this conversation.

 

Lisa snorts inelegantly, and Caitlin tries not to be charmed by the sound. “Like what, kissing Cisco?”

 

Caitlin can’t help the flinch, and Lisa’s entire face softens a degree or two.

 

“Cisco is… important to me,” Lisa says haltingly, and Caitlin peers at her in reluctant curiosity. “He’s one of the first people who ever saw me for just _me_ , not for my looks or my skills or even for my brother. And I love him, I really, really do. But… it’s not like that.”

 

A moue of something like chagrin and regret passes over her features, and Caitlin can’t find it in herself to look away. “Not like what?” she whispers, almost afraid of the answer.

 

Lisa smiles a little, sudden and striking, and Caitlin blinks at the sudden switch, mind reeling. “Cisco and I promised we’d be each other’s New Year’s kiss _weeks_ ago,” she says, tone almost conversational but eyes tight, watching Caitlin sharply. “A kiss between friends, that’s it. But he’s not who I wanted to kiss tonight.”

 

Caitlin’s heart is scalding, liquid fire pulses in her veins, and she can’t swallow past the smoldering lump in her throat. “Really?” she croaks out, and tiny little creases crinkle at the edges of Lisa’s eyes when she smiles.

 

“Really,” she promises. “And I know the moment is gone now, but if you want a silly tradition as an excuse to kiss, I’m pretty sure Linda and Iris have still got some mistletoe up somewhere…”

 

The fire bubbling in Caitlin’s chest absolutely _melts_ as she laughs, the feeling a comfortable simmer in her extremities, and Lisa presses forward into her space, igniting the air Caitlin breathes in between them before smoothing warm, soft lips against Caitlin’s own.

 

Caitlin’s heart sets ablaze, and she doesn’t even care that she might go up in flames.

**Author's Note:**

> [me](http://that-pumpkinspicewhitegirl.tumblr.com) // my [darling](http://weekend-conspiracy-theorist.tumblr.com) [darling](http://lisasneeze.tumblr.com)


End file.
